There is a lot of self talk that goes on for people and somehow it affects others. It’s seems hard to be immune to self talk. But when it comes down to what does it mean to personal values, internal and external environments, that’s each of our choices.
In this new jobs there are a lot of politics that includes passive aggressiveness, personal opinions and the it’s been as a witness and as the target. I initially felt hurt, my self-esteem took a huge hit and I’d come home confused and annoyed that it has to come to this, It just doesn’t make sense in my mind why certain members of the team get personal when it comes to their way of handling things.
Had even gone onto anti-depressants to quieten the mind and replays of scenarios and anxiety caused by feeling not up to scratch. But now it’s leveled out and I’m feeling focused on falling forward (if anywhere at all).
There’s options of where to direct energy in these situations:
- Give others a taste of their own medicine.
- Try to change their attitudes.
- Stay in a bubble and not acknowledge the negativity.
Having tried all three, I’ve come to the conclusion that 2 and 3 are best when it comes to handling awkward situations. By just staying in a bubble alone, just being able to get others to work together became difficult as it was thought I was ignoring people. But when being spoken to about negative things, listening with compasion then trying to re-frame it has displayed more positive interaction there-after, or at least less of the ‘alienation’ tactics.
I had thought about raising this with the line manager and HR but at the moment, it really is about choosing which battles are best to move forward. Having work with the negative energy itself and transform it, or let others know the energy won’t get charged with my reactions or opinions will hopefully contribute towards a nicer environment. There will always be politics and differences of opinions wherever there are various personalities. What it comes down to is choosing where to focus energy and let it be on things that truly matter and is something we can do ourselves. Especially if the battle is with ourselves.