Where am I going with all this?

I found whenever people ask me what’s on my mind, it’s been followed by them just opening up about their views and it’s like I’m listening to their ego let loose and get engrossed on all these self-inhibited thoughts to support beliefs.

Maybe I’m distancing myself too much from other people to avoid this collective and self-sustained negative energy, but maybe it’s me waking up and seeing how my previous world doesn’t fit my new state of mind and ways of thought. At the moment, I’m even considering packing everything in with this life in Australia and starting fresh somewhere new.

After reading a few books on personalities and character of humans in modern day society, I felt more and more withdrawn to being by myself, and I’m wondering if this how the decline into madness starts. It’s doesn’t feel right detaching socially but it’s tiring being around current associates in certain cirlces. Like being an ambivert, I need that charge when being around people and still have a need to re-charge in peace and quiet when possible. Right now, more than ever this introverted sense is a lot more relaxing.

I booked in for a counselling session to check-in with a professional who can provide a seperated view of what’s could possible be going on. At the end of it, the advice I’m glad to take away is to keep grounded. She said it’s all well and good to research into the human psyche but to take all this information in digestible pieces.

Taking on too much at once will make things seem unstable, overbearing and full of uncertaintity. Finding ways to keep grounded and return to the inner quietness before making any decision can help save making any regrettable ones based on emotionally charged reactions.

This process should include:

  • Limit time around listening to negativity
  • Meditate for 20 minutes each morning, set that intention for the day
  • Fill in the gratitude jounrnel, focus on the positive
  • Be open to given as well as receiving, do not block the kindness exchange
  • Remember everyone has a good intention
  • Exercise mindfullness of things happening in that present moment

I find it easy to forget this process in certain situations and environments, but this ‘uncertain’ energy is nothing new, I’ve been here before and can move through it again. Except now, with the recent learning on how to work with it – it’s like a reclusive internal study I feel is being put into practice and it’s time to use the new skills to work with it.

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