I had always thought that seeking emotional support from people wasn’t neccessary. That I could do confronting things by myself, or that in some way people would see me as weak.
Last week I asked a friend if she wouldn’t mind being on standby incase I needed help getting home from the hospital. She kindly offered without condition and even asked if I wanted her there in the A&E waiting room. I didn’t want to trouble her too much and said no thanks, I’ll be ok.
My friend had been checking in every 30 minutes and offered to come up, bring me food and keep me company, but by 10pm, I said it’ll be best if she slept and that I could get a taxi home. Four hours had passed since I entered the waiting room and after one failed blood sample attempt and only getting 1 cup of water in and no food in eight hours, I began to feel tired and anxious.
After waiting 5 hours, at around midnight, I was asked if another attempt could be made to take a blood sample and at this point I took the opportunity to ask for water. The nurse said she didn’t have time and this triggered the quivering lip. It might have been the lack of food, tiredness or built up anxiousness but at this point they had taking me through to get seen and I just couldn’t hold back the tears.
I pulled out my phone and mustered the courage to call my friend, who answered as cheerfully as she could from just being woke up. As I was sniffing down the phone, I asked her if it was ok if she would be there with me and my pride made the excuses that it must be the tiredness, that I don’t know why I was crying so much. She then reassured me it was good that I called.
“You’re on your own and it’s a daunting envionrment, it’s ok to be upset. I’ll be there in 10 minutes”, she said. I giggled as a bit of weight lifted off my shoulders and the tears stopped. My pride had dissapated and I felt relief. It’s then I realised deep down I was feeling alone and this voice of reassurence is what I needed to remind myself that sometimes it’s good to have emotional support to get through the daunting times. When a friend offers help – over and over, they genuinely do want to help.
The event had left me feeling full of gratitude all week. Note to self – don’t face daunting things alone when there are people offering to help. There’s no shame in having support.