“It’s when you need a teacher, they will appear”, is what my yoga teacher said at the start of our session today.
I mentioned in a previous post on how a colleage at work was telling me about the positive experiences he was having with with life coach and work mentor. That’s when it clicked that I needed to learn how to stop this cycle of depression from someone but didn’t know who, and didn’t what method was best. I had gone to see a clinical psycologist, but something didn’t feel right. Maybe it was how the session was conducted and closed or maybe it was because that person didn’t ressonate with helping me in what I deeply needed.
As part of the healing process I had taken up yoga and have successfully maintained regular attendance (excluding two weeks off with the flu to recover and be considerate to other class mates). The teacher communicated to the class so well and taught yoga at a slow but challenging pace. She connects with each individual to help them learn and I feel like I’ve come further in the 2 months of yoga with milestones than I had in any previous class that had a longer focus. I giggled my head off today because I managed to do an elbow stand, it was surreal, scary and amazing at the same time and week after week I keep going back for more of these experiences.
This lovely yoga teacher is now my meditation guide, but little did I know how spiritual these sessions would be. However far removed everything she said was from my day job, I chose to think like a child and remain open and curious. I was slightly conscious for a while of what other people in the park must have thought seeing us there meditating but once we got going, these thoughts were blocked out throughout most of the session.
The first session was to assign me a hindu mantra for Lakshmi Beej Mantra. The Goddess Laxmi is an embodiment of wealth and prosperity, and is considered the source of material wealth. The purpose was to ressonate this ‘mode’ within me as it were. I had concerns I wouldn’t be able to pay for the sessions and mentioned that I had a lot of anxiety this year around financial worries. This mantra was to help seek guidance from within myself and ressonate it into myself through law of attraction so to speak.
The teacher then went onto preparing for the meditation by advising self massage to awaken the body, sit with the spine straight, look to the nose and close my eyes. She then made a noise, like the sound of scraping a meditation bowl and asked me to repeat the sound out loud. I was then asked to make this sound within my head every time she asked me to repeat it. Finally, I was asked to make the sound happen in my head every 15 seconds, without counting. There were three guided 10 minute meditations, each one experiencing the thoughts, drowning out the background and on the final one, finally getting peace through visuals alone. Once I came out of the 10 minute meditation the first word I could describe was that it was spacious. Once opening my eyes after the third meditation, everything was brighter and in high definition. It felt like a great start, however I’ve been assigned to do this twice a day. I will try to keep this up, so help me! 🙂
Hopefully this will help with a mediation tomorrow with the renting agents of my flat to settle a dispute, otherwise go onto a tribunal. Stress wise, this hasn’t helped with a smooth recovery but with the support I’ve been given by free legal advice and another meditation session shortly before hand, this too shall pass.